Are you ready for your next price increase discussion with your most important customer? How about a conversation with your manager over a disputed expense item? Difficult conversations are part of sales. Here are some pointers to make your next difficult conversation both easier and more successful, especially when these conversations are high stakes and high tension.
Preparation is key.
Chris Voss, the author of Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It states the importance of preparation. You might think of the conversation and get angry. Or you might think of the conversation and be terrified and nervous. What can you do? Voss says to think like an athlete.
Athletes prepare for tough competition by envisioning doing everything right. That way when they experience the stress of competition, the default is to their highest level of preparation. With a difficult conversation, you must prepare for it going right. This means you must train to be calm. Envision yourself in the meeting speaking in a calm tone of voice.
Next, rewire your brain for gratitude. Once I had a difficult boss who was a poor listener and rigid manager. Every (and I do mean every) conversation escalated to my getting angry and dismissive. I finally turned the relationship around by changing my attitude to one of gratitude. I was grateful that I had so many ideas to contribute, not that he couldn’t implement. It actually changed how I spoke with him and definitely improved the conversations by lowering the tension.
Really, really focus on your listening.
I see so many times in selling when poor listening causes misunderstandings, increased tension and lost business. It is critical to demonstrate you are listening when you are having a difficult conversation in sales. How do you do that? Your goal is for the person you are speaking with saying, “That’s right.”
Here’s how you do that. You summarize what you believe they are saying. Capture their perspective. Especially focus on any negative thoughts they have. You don’t want to dispute them or deny them. You will hear, “that’s right” when you have captured their thoughts accurately.
Here’s why it’s so important to capture their perspective. People who feel listened to feel understood which makes them feel good. They get a hit of oxytocin, the feel-good brain chemical. That chemical results in bonding with you which will change the conversation and give you an advantage.
What if things go wrong?
Be prepared for someone getting angry. It might not happen, but just in case, you must be prepared. You then must control your voice volume and speak slower and more softly. Try to avoid anger by giving a heads up to any bad news coming. You might start that sentence with an apology. You could say, “I’m sorry to have to tell you this. We are going to have a price increase that is going to impact your business.”
Try to end the conversation on a positive note. You might not agree, but you can always say that you appreciate the opportunity to have the conversation.
Sales isn’t the easiest job. You will have difficult conversations. Successfully transitioning a tough sales call to a positive outcome gives you an invaluable intangible for sales success. Just think of the confidence and knowledge you will gain when you come through these difficult conversations.