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Selling Issue: Your Manager

 

Managing Your Manager:  The Clues to tell you how to Create a Better Working Relationship with Your Manager

by Maura Schreier-Fleming

Maura Schreier-Fleming works with business and sales professionals on skills and strategies so they can sell more and be more productive at work. She is the author of Real-World Selling for Out-of-this-World Results. She is the principal of Best@Selling and can be reached at info@BestatSelling.com or 972.380.0200.

There's good news and bad news if you want a better working relationship with your manager. The good news is it's possible.  The bad news is it might take some work. Managers who like the people they work with are easier to work for. So how can you get your manager to like you?  Think of your manager as a customer.  Then use some selling science as part of your selling strategy.  The science of selling can help you understand managers and how they select the people they like.  Their preferences start with rapport. 

What is rapport? Rapport is the feeling you get when you have an environment of trust and understanding.  The best salespeople are very skilled at creating rapport.  Fortunately, rapport is a skill that can be learned.  Rapport is critical for a good working relationship with your manager. This feeling leads to trust and the ability to be persuaded when people feel comfortable with people who they perceive to be like themselves.  Your manager makes decisions about rapport based on observable behaviors. For many of them, they decide on an unconscious level.  To create rapport with your manager, you consciously make decisions about your manager's observable behaviors.  Here are the behavioral clues so you can identify them and use them to work more effectively and build a good working relationship with your manager.

Assertiveness and Responsiveness The two dimensions of behavior that people use to make decisions about rapport are assertiveness and responsiveness.  Assertiveness is how other people perceive us to be forceful or directive over people or situations.  Each manager is either comfortable with assertive or less assertive behaviors.  Responsiveness is how other people see us as showing or hiding our emotions.  Your manager is either more responsive or more controlled. 

Assertive Clues  Have you ever noticed the differences in customer handshakes?  They range from “the fish” all the way to “the bone crusher.”  That’s your first assertive behavioral clue.  Assertive people have more firm handshakes than less assertive people.  Other assertive clues are: louder voices (versus softer voices), quicker speech, faster walking, consistent eye contact, decisiveness, more extroverted behavior, and commanding people more than asking them.  Less assertive people perform the opposite of these behaviors.         

Responsive Clues  Have you ever given a presentation to a stone-faced customer?  This is your first clue about the responsive dimension.  When a customer lacks facial expressions this is a clue that the person is controlled or less responsive.  Other controlled behaviors are: less frequent hand movements, less frequent nonverbal feedback, focusing on tasks rather than people, speaking in a monotone voice, making decisions based on facts instead of opinions, and a very inflexible view of time. 

How do you use these clues?  First pay attention to your manager's behavior. Try to gather as many behavioral clues as you can.  We are not robots or machines so your manager will exhibit some less assertive clues as well as more assertive clues.  This applies to responsive behaviors as well.  Weigh the evidence for both dimensions and see where there is a preponderance of clues.  That will be the behavior that is most comfortable for your manager.  To create rapport, use the reverse Golden Rule.  Treat others the way they prefer to be treated, not the way you prefer.  This means doing more of the behaviors that your manager feels comfortable with.  This will create rapport and your manager will feel more comfortable with you.

For some of you, modifying your behavior even for short periods of time will be a challenge.  It will get easier over time if you practice identifying and using the clues.  The science of selling is in establishing rapport.  The art of selling is in the many ways in which you can create rapport.  Your manager may be your most important customer to sell to.


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